Simply put, men’s work is what happens inside a men’s group. I think of men’s work as a healing and personal growth modality for men.
At its core, men’s work is about facing yourself. It’s about confronting your past, your stories, your wounds, fears, worries, and anxieties. It’s about reconciling with yourself as a man. It’s about shedding boyish tendencies and claiming a more mature, masculine identity.
Men’s work does not happen in isolation. It happens through brotherhood.
Fundamentally, men’s work is experiential and relational, not theoretical or intellectual. This is a large part of why it can be profoundly life-altering. It gets men out of their heads and back into their bodies and gut instinct. In a healthy men’s group, you will be pushed to the edge of your comfort zone. You will be challenged to claim more responsibility for yourself and your life.
Naturally, this brings up resistance: mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And this isn’t something you just “talk about” in a meeting. You have to grapple with it in real time. You have to go back into your week and challenge yourself in new and unfamiliar ways. You have to face fears, confront weaknesses, and learn how to stay in relationship with other men while doing it… not shutting down, withdrawing, or retreating.
Intentional Depth
At its core, men’s work is what happens when men gather in a space centered around intentional depth.
This means men meeting on a regular, scheduled basis to get real about what’s happening in their minds, hearts, and lives. Men’s work is not happening at casual hangouts, BBQs, or watching a game together. Those things have value, but men’s work begins when men collectively decide to get honest and take responsibility for their inner lives.
This kind of space is deeply healing for a number of reasons.
Why Men Need This
We are living in a cultural epidemic of male loneliness. Many men were raised by weak or absent fathers. A staggering number of men report that they never received what they needed from their fathers to step confidently into manhood.
At the same time, men today are caught between two unhealthy extremes:
On one side, a feminized cultural narrative that suggests there is something inherently wrong with men and masculinity. On the other, “red pill” and MGTOW content that swings to the opposite extreme: cynical, Godless, adversarial toward women, and rooted in victimhood.
Men’s work addresses this cultural problem directly.
When men gather in men-only spaces rooted in intentional depth, something restorative happens. It acts as medicine for the masculine soul. A man remembers what it means to be a man. He sheds emotional and psychic weight and steps into a more authentic version of himself.
For many men, this is the first time in their lives they are truly seen, known, challenged, supported, and cared for by other men.
I work with many men — and I was once one of them — who received little to no affirmation or guidance from other men growing up. Others have never been directly challenged or held accountable by another man. Both affirmation and challenge are essential ingredients for masculine development, and many men are deficient in one or both.
Men’s work provides what was missing.
Addressing the Cringe Factor
To be clear, the current landscape of men’s groups can be… rough. Many men have an immediate aversion to men’s groups because they imagine drum circles, sweaty hugs, awkward church groups, or endless “feelings circles.”
And while I’ll say honestly that even a bad men’s group can still be helpful, the aversion is understandable.
The first men’s group I joined had many new-age and strange elements that I no longer resonate with at all. And yet, the experience was still profoundly transformative and healing.
What Men’s Work Actually Produces
Men’s work is a vehicle for growth, healing, transformation, and maturity. Ironically, results are not really the point.
Men often join groups wanting to break through limitations, improve relationships, build businesses, or overcome “nice guy” tendencies. And those things often happen. But the most life-altering changes are usually quieter and deeper.
A man who forgives his father, learns to trust other men, and learns how to remain in healthy, enduring relationships with other men has changed in a way that goes far beyond surface-level outcomes.
Men’s work offers a change in being, not just a place to acquire tools. Both matter, but when a man truly “gets” men’s work, something shifts at an energetic level. That shift then spills into every area of his life simultaneously.
Why It’s So Challenging (and So Powerful)
Men’s work rarely appeals to men who haven’t experienced it directly. Most men have an aversion to it because of preconceived ideas, unconscious fear of depth, or, more commonly than you might think, fear of other men.
Men’s work is not flashy. It’s not a 12-step program with guaranteed outcomes. It’s closer to soul work.
It asks a man to dig into the depths of his being and confront what he finds there. It asks him to drop the ego, listen for the truth, and speak the truth.
Because men’s work is relational, that’s where much of the real transformation happens. In these spaces, old wounds get activated. Tempers flare. Men get upset, both with themselves and with each other. And in those moments, there is an opportunity to rewrite old patterns.
What happens in a men’s group directly mirrors what happens in marriage, work, and family life. If a man can learn to navigate deep, honest relationships with other men, he develops the capacity to meet people where they are in every area of life.
This is how embodied leadership is formed.
If a man can learn how to be a good brother — how to give and receive support, challenge, and truth — he naturally becomes more capable of leading his life.
Final Thoughts
I genuinely believe men’s work is essential medicine for modern men.
When most men hear “men’s group,” they think accountability group or feelings circle. In reality, the depth and range of growth available inside a well-run men’s group is far greater than most men can imagine.
I’ve barely scratched the surface here, and I’ll continue exploring this in future articles.
Interested in going deeper?
If this resonates, the Masculine Revival Brotherhood is a place where this work is lived out weekly in real relationship with other men. It’s high-commitment, and centered on depth, responsibility, and brotherhood.
You can learn more or apply here: www.masculinerevival.com